Thinking...

Welcome to one small aspect of my brain ...

I shared this in an earlier post "Jazz for a brain, I'm cursed with free-form, improvisational, frenetic thought processes."

Most of the time I can function and maintain focus with things I'm concentrating on. Other times, my mind moves at a rate of speed that leaves me in the dust. I've noticed that many times my mind has accelerated to a point where all I can do is go along for the ride.

Imagery takes a prominent role when these mind-racing sessions take place. It seems as though my mind cycles through random, disassociated images at the rate of about 2 or three images per second. That's right 2 or 3 per second. There is no order, no reason for what image appears. It might be a cute little kitten and then immediately into an algebra equation written on a chalkboard followed by something from my early childhood like riding a mini-bike then right into a scene from the signing of the declaration of independence, or some other sequence of random chaos and images. Crazy stuff that cannot be explained. Seriously, "bam - flip - bam - pow - click - bam and on and on until I either fall back asleep (if it takes place when I've awaken from sleep), which is not at all easy with that going on in my head, or until something jars my thinking into concentration on something specific - but even then the barrage of imagery continues while I try to focus my thoughts on the situation at hand.

I've never had "therapy" or been in a situation to express this to anyone of any capacity to shed light on it, but it's not something that interferes with my ability to function.. it's just that sometimes it is annoying as hell.

Maybe it stems from the way my mind works, and has always worked, since as long as I can remember. I've always felt, and accepted that, when my mind is presented something that needs a solution - anywhere from a big problem to a small subtle process, the wheels kick in and options are examined, possible solutions are played out in thought and the best way to approach the issue becomes clear to me in a matter of seconds. Not minutes. Seconds. I have always been able to get to "the bottom line" about things almost instantaneously. That has made for an interesting time when debates or arguments arise. I am quick to make my case for the solution that I think is best. I remain open and eager to listen to alternative answers and solutions, and the reasoning for those alternatives, but if they do not make perfect sense as the best way to go about solving the problem, then I don't change my mind. I have been known to change my mind and go about some different plan, but that is usually because new information comes out that affects the problem. Had my mind been aware of that "new" information at the onset, I am confident that I would have arrived at the "new" solution anyway.

I realize that this can be labeled as arrogance and that by this short explanation it may seem as though I have a superiority complex, but when I'm right, I'm right and throughout my history in different facets of life - home, school, work, etc. - my solutions, after consideration by others, are the ones adopted by everyone involved. It has been very rare that some other answer or proposed action has been implemented.

I guess I seem arrogant about this because I have been positively reinforced by the world around me time and again. Honestly, I am not egotistical about this, I am happy to have problems solved. That's all.

The same sort of rapid-fire thought process (without the disjointed image sequencing) takes place even when I'm doing things that ordinarily should require no thought at all. Things as simple as adjusting the volume of a video I'm watching. In a matter of nano-seconds (it seems to me), my mind analyzes the most efficient method for making any adjustments to the equipment involved.
I may have a volume control at the source (a media player on my computer), another control at the computer output and yet another at the speakers. Taking into consideration the desire for optimal sound quality and limited distortion throughout the signal path, I think of the pros and cons of different adjustments at different places along the signal path. I make split-second calculations in my mind and then make other calculations based upon the first calculations, etc. - Will adjusting the volume here affect the quality of the resulting sound here at this point? And, if so, would some other adjustment at somewhere else along the path be a better choice to insure the maintenance of the best sound quality possible? Etcetera, etcetera.
This all takes place in the time it takes for me to raise my hand to take some action related to adjusting the damn volume!

I tell you I scare myself sometimes with what takes place inside my brain. Don't even get me started on what it's like when I'm driving! Years of taking and teaching defensive driving courses have made every second of every minute I drive any vehicle a constant exercise in composing exit strategies and what-if scenarios. All taking place simultaneously while I carry on conversations with passengers or sing along with the radio...

Am I normal? Wait.. don't answer that. Because I really don't care about your answer to that question or what you think of me! Sorry, but I believe in the reality of being interested in, and concerned with, only that which I can control and not bothering myself, or my brain, with things I have no control over - like what other people think of me. Unless, of course, they can convince me of a need to change something about myself.. and can do that convincing in the most efficient way possible...

I guess I am interested in finding out if other people have a similar experience with their minds. Do they think in "fast forward" like me?

I may never know.

Hmm that gets me to thinking...



Next up: Procrastination - why am I so good at it?

Rhythms of my ancestry

In anticipation of my father's birthday - March 17, I've been listening to some Irish music recently. My roots are as Celtic as can be.. most likely Scandinavian before that. I feel deep down that I must come from those bad ass Norsemen who are now mistakenly referred to as Vikings. Yeah, they raided and pillaged and plundered all over Europe from Greenland all the way to Baghdad and back.. but it is what it is. Um, sorry?

One of the bands I've re-discovered is "Kila" (Pr. "Key-Lah") - they're fantastically Irish, but "new" somehow.

I was going to put a link to a YouTube video or two in here.. but the videos on YouTube do not do the band justice. They're not bad, but not as good as the music itself. I am partial to their instrumental tunes rather than the ones with vocals, but I'm sure those will "grow on me" in time.

Kila is just one of the bands I've been seeking out as of late.

Also worth investigating are:
Shooglenifty, Seven Nations, Wolfstone, Rock Salt & Nails, and Bongshang to name a few.

Maybe I'll share more if the mood strikes me...

Meanwhile, "May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be always at your back, etc." ... Éirinn go brách my friends.

Or, Scotland Forever.. whichever suites your tastes. Personally, I lean towards Scotland.


Thomas Samuel Owens - March 17, 1933 - April 29,2005