Circles. Why always circles?

I thought I could conquer anything. I know I can kill anything before it kills me. I cannot, however, stop people from dying. Once again, a very good friend has passed on. Normally that wouldn't stop me in my tracks.. but this time, I was the one who found him. I was the one who had to contact the authorities to deal with what I found. I was the last human to visit him. Mine was the last voice he ever heard. only about a week before. Details are never neccessary, but I feel that I desperatly NEED to tell someone.. anyone. Even a complete stranger. I need to get the sight and smell of that experience out of my head. I wish I could do so much quicker than the several years that I know it will take. The circle of life can bite me. I've never had to deal with what I'm having to deal with right now.. this is all new to me. Sorry.