Dec 17, 2013
HA, June 2014... more than a few months since the last "post"...
Hmm. I guess it has been about three months since I put anything here. I'll try not to make it three more.
So, maybe I'll offer up some stuff on holidays with four kids in four different cities..
maybe.
Sep 10, 2013
Aloha y'all...
For those of you who don't know me, or used to know me a long time ago (even in Jr. High and High school), but may have forgotten, I am a free thinking individual, if you need a label to pin on me, you may as well use "agnostic" because after all, who knows for sure?. I was raised in the Methodist Church. When I was 11 or 12, I read the Bible, the Quran, and the Tao Te Ching and concluded for myself, what my beliefs were. Nothing has ever happened to change my mind. In fact the exact opposite occurred - time after time over the past 45+ years I have witnessed countless atrocities carried out in the name of religion, which only served to reinforce my way of thinking and my "spiritual" beliefs. Yes, I am an atheist. I do not hide that fact. If anyone were to bother to take a look at my facebook profile they would discover that about me. I am a member of the Wichita Atheists group and am happy to say that I've never met a better group of kind, considerate, intellectual and forgiving people in, well, a very, very long time. Not since back in my school days. As I write this, I realize that many of my "friends" from back in my Jr. High and High school days may "un-friend" me. That's they're choice and I have no control, nor do I want to, over their actions or feelings about me. The smart ones will see the utter ridiculousness of it all and remain my friends. The ones who decide that they could never imagine being friends with an atheist will do what makes them happy. Hey, whatever helps them sleep at night, I say.
As a whole (granted, there are extremists in every group), we atheists tend to be very open minded and have no problem with people choosing to believe, or not believe, whatever they want. We do not try to "convert" non-atheists to our way of thinking. We do not automatically disagree with something a person of faith says or writes. We relish the notion of coexistence - of "agreeing to disagree". Peace and love know no boundaries, religious or otherwise.
There is a saying that goes something like "Religion is like a dick. It's fine to have it. It's ok to love the fact that you have it. But please don't take it out in public and wave it around, and for goodness sake don't try to shove it down my throat."
My mother and other family members are "people of faith" and I do not love them any less. I have discovered, here through facebook, that many of the friends I had in Jr. High and High School, mainly those that never left Kansas, have evolved into super-religious, right-wing conservatives who think that George W. Bush was one of the greatest presidents this country ever had. I strongly disagree with them and wonder what must have happened between the '70's and now, that led them to form these conclusions for their adult lives. Again, I don't judge, I am simply curious.
As a group of young minds back then, we were all such free thinkers, intelligent people who did not swallow the propaganda being forced upon us in the Johnson/Nixon years, through the Vietnam war, etc. on into the Regan era. We, collectively, knew better, saw the writing on the wall, and questioned authority. We educated ourselves so that we could make our own minds up about any and all issues or ideals. We were smart. Very smart indeed. We probably are all still very smart and just ended up walking different paths that led us here to our 50's and 60's. Regardless of how we got here, I am saddened by what appears to me to be some sort of regional Christian "surrender", some sort of political brainwashing that goes with the religion thing. And I am saddened by the revelation that my old "activist" type friends are now gladly drinking the Kool-Aid which we all rejected in the 60’s and 70's. That said - I do not have any desire to "un-friend" anybody. I honestly think and feel that we CAN all get along. If you have strong religious feelings then great for you! If you feel like posting religious themed pictures or posts, then go right ahead! Wave your flag high! (Freak or otherwise).
But please don't hate me because I think differently than you. That, and the fried food, is what makes America so great. We have no control over how the rest of the world feels about us. I learned about 45 years ago to not waste ANY time or thought on things which I have no control over and instead to concentrate on that over which I DO have control. My writing this, even though I hope it won't, and believe it shouldn’t, will inevitably cause some of my conservative, religious "acquaintances" here on facebook to toss me out of their news feeds and probably stop being "friends" with me. Trust me. I'm not the type of person who feels bad or loses any sleep over that sort of stuff. You don't want to be friends with me anymore? Fine. In retrospect, I guess we were never truly "friends" to begin with.
Aloha y’all.
(Yes, I wrote this initially to post on facebook and will do so shortly...)
As a whole (granted, there are extremists in every group), we atheists tend to be very open minded and have no problem with people choosing to believe, or not believe, whatever they want. We do not try to "convert" non-atheists to our way of thinking. We do not automatically disagree with something a person of faith says or writes. We relish the notion of coexistence - of "agreeing to disagree". Peace and love know no boundaries, religious or otherwise.
There is a saying that goes something like "Religion is like a dick. It's fine to have it. It's ok to love the fact that you have it. But please don't take it out in public and wave it around, and for goodness sake don't try to shove it down my throat."
My mother and other family members are "people of faith" and I do not love them any less. I have discovered, here through facebook, that many of the friends I had in Jr. High and High School, mainly those that never left Kansas, have evolved into super-religious, right-wing conservatives who think that George W. Bush was one of the greatest presidents this country ever had. I strongly disagree with them and wonder what must have happened between the '70's and now, that led them to form these conclusions for their adult lives. Again, I don't judge, I am simply curious.
As a group of young minds back then, we were all such free thinkers, intelligent people who did not swallow the propaganda being forced upon us in the Johnson/Nixon years, through the Vietnam war, etc. on into the Regan era. We, collectively, knew better, saw the writing on the wall, and questioned authority. We educated ourselves so that we could make our own minds up about any and all issues or ideals. We were smart. Very smart indeed. We probably are all still very smart and just ended up walking different paths that led us here to our 50's and 60's. Regardless of how we got here, I am saddened by what appears to me to be some sort of regional Christian "surrender", some sort of political brainwashing that goes with the religion thing. And I am saddened by the revelation that my old "activist" type friends are now gladly drinking the Kool-Aid which we all rejected in the 60’s and 70's. That said - I do not have any desire to "un-friend" anybody. I honestly think and feel that we CAN all get along. If you have strong religious feelings then great for you! If you feel like posting religious themed pictures or posts, then go right ahead! Wave your flag high! (Freak or otherwise).
But please don't hate me because I think differently than you. That, and the fried food, is what makes America so great. We have no control over how the rest of the world feels about us. I learned about 45 years ago to not waste ANY time or thought on things which I have no control over and instead to concentrate on that over which I DO have control. My writing this, even though I hope it won't, and believe it shouldn’t, will inevitably cause some of my conservative, religious "acquaintances" here on facebook to toss me out of their news feeds and probably stop being "friends" with me. Trust me. I'm not the type of person who feels bad or loses any sleep over that sort of stuff. You don't want to be friends with me anymore? Fine. In retrospect, I guess we were never truly "friends" to begin with.
Aloha y’all.
(Yes, I wrote this initially to post on facebook and will do so shortly...)
Aug 18, 2013
I’ve been thinking about this lately and I feel compelled to write it down. So I am.. here in this unknown and unseen blog. I guess I should tell someone about this blog so that, after I die, they can read my "will", or my desires for what to do with my funeral, or wake, or kick-ass party.. whatever materializes. I think I put something at the top of this blog that says "If I die before I wake", or "start here" or something like that. Anyway - on to the rambling rant I'm writing now:
I’m not positive, but I think marriage should happen while you are young, because then it really is a combined effort and shared commitment. Obviously I cannot speak about the realities of waiting until you're in your late 20's or early 30's to marry because I didn't do so. But an instinct inside my heart and head tells me that when and if you "wait", then attitudes will have already been developed, or will be actively developing, which affect, on possibly a subconscious level, attitudes and/or thoughts that cause reluctance or apprehension or whatever when it comes to the realization that marrying someone has far reaching implications. Implications that are shrouded in mystery and of going up against the unknown in perhaps one of the most important "fights" that you will ever have in your life. I think that marrying while in your 30's can lead to second-guessing other major life decisions and a general glazing-over of reality. My experience was that of marrying young, well, relatively young. I was 23, Helen was just 19. Sometimes I wonder how different things might have turned out had we waited another 4 or 5 years. My first thought is that my kids would not have come to be quite the same way they are. I mean they most likely would have been great, happy, smart, kind, and considerate people - like they really are, but definitely not the same kids. How could they be? Butterfly effect, etc...
I also wonder if Helen and I would have, by virtue of being 4 or 5 years older, been better equipped to deal with the normal emotional ups and downs of a committed relationship. Or that our capabilities to make it through the "tough times" and/or rough patches that come and go, and are a part of every relationship between two people, would have been more mature and therefore not ended in divorce for our marriage. It is impossible to know how things might have gone differently since any one of a million various scenarios could have played out.
I guess I'm trying to learn more about myself through thinking these things and questioning the merits or drawbacks associated with marrying while you are young, or waiting until you're just a little bit older before entering into such commitment with another human who has their own world of thoughts running through their head as well. I feel that I don't know what to say or suggest to my children if they ever ask my opinion or thoughts on this issue. Most likely they will never ask that of me as the events and experiences of their own adult lives will force them to ask, and answer these questions for themselves. It does not matter in the least whether I would like to be a grandparent sooner or later or never at all.
I guess the truest answer I can give myself is to just concentrate on my children's happiness and encourage and celebrate whatever decisions they may make - right or wrong, good idea or bad, because none of us has the ability to know for sure if what we are doing, or what we have done, is or was the "right" thing for our life. I want for all of my children the magic and wonder and adventure that Helen and I had. I also want for them the wisdom and possible better outcome in their lives if they wait before hitching their star to another person's sky. Time and circumstance has already sort of made decisions for each of them, and their futures remain to be seen. I suppose that is all anyone can expect and is what we should all become comfortable with. I just wish there was a way to know that everything will turn out fine for them. I think that "way" is called, simply, faith.
I love my kids with every fiber of my earthly presence and with every spark of eternal energy that resides inside of me. I hope I get the chance, or having been given that chance every time I see them, hug them or speak with them, to be able to instill in them the depth and purity of that love. Grand babies or not. Now or later. I am truly rich beyond my wildest dreams just to still be here and to be a part of their lives and to have them as such an amazing part of mine. But getting to play with, and spoil, and most of all - laugh, with my children's babies would be very wondrous indeed.
I’m not positive, but I think marriage should happen while you are young, because then it really is a combined effort and shared commitment. Obviously I cannot speak about the realities of waiting until you're in your late 20's or early 30's to marry because I didn't do so. But an instinct inside my heart and head tells me that when and if you "wait", then attitudes will have already been developed, or will be actively developing, which affect, on possibly a subconscious level, attitudes and/or thoughts that cause reluctance or apprehension or whatever when it comes to the realization that marrying someone has far reaching implications. Implications that are shrouded in mystery and of going up against the unknown in perhaps one of the most important "fights" that you will ever have in your life. I think that marrying while in your 30's can lead to second-guessing other major life decisions and a general glazing-over of reality. My experience was that of marrying young, well, relatively young. I was 23, Helen was just 19. Sometimes I wonder how different things might have turned out had we waited another 4 or 5 years. My first thought is that my kids would not have come to be quite the same way they are. I mean they most likely would have been great, happy, smart, kind, and considerate people - like they really are, but definitely not the same kids. How could they be? Butterfly effect, etc...
I also wonder if Helen and I would have, by virtue of being 4 or 5 years older, been better equipped to deal with the normal emotional ups and downs of a committed relationship. Or that our capabilities to make it through the "tough times" and/or rough patches that come and go, and are a part of every relationship between two people, would have been more mature and therefore not ended in divorce for our marriage. It is impossible to know how things might have gone differently since any one of a million various scenarios could have played out.
I guess I'm trying to learn more about myself through thinking these things and questioning the merits or drawbacks associated with marrying while you are young, or waiting until you're just a little bit older before entering into such commitment with another human who has their own world of thoughts running through their head as well. I feel that I don't know what to say or suggest to my children if they ever ask my opinion or thoughts on this issue. Most likely they will never ask that of me as the events and experiences of their own adult lives will force them to ask, and answer these questions for themselves. It does not matter in the least whether I would like to be a grandparent sooner or later or never at all.
I guess the truest answer I can give myself is to just concentrate on my children's happiness and encourage and celebrate whatever decisions they may make - right or wrong, good idea or bad, because none of us has the ability to know for sure if what we are doing, or what we have done, is or was the "right" thing for our life. I want for all of my children the magic and wonder and adventure that Helen and I had. I also want for them the wisdom and possible better outcome in their lives if they wait before hitching their star to another person's sky. Time and circumstance has already sort of made decisions for each of them, and their futures remain to be seen. I suppose that is all anyone can expect and is what we should all become comfortable with. I just wish there was a way to know that everything will turn out fine for them. I think that "way" is called, simply, faith.
I love my kids with every fiber of my earthly presence and with every spark of eternal energy that resides inside of me. I hope I get the chance, or having been given that chance every time I see them, hug them or speak with them, to be able to instill in them the depth and purity of that love. Grand babies or not. Now or later. I am truly rich beyond my wildest dreams just to still be here and to be a part of their lives and to have them as such an amazing part of mine. But getting to play with, and spoil, and most of all - laugh, with my children's babies would be very wondrous indeed.
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