Thanks, thanks alot.

Great. another horrible Christmas. Alone.

Nobody gives two shits about me. Fuck this bullshit. There is literaly no reason for me to keep trying. The only thing stopping me from ending it all is the need to sell the valuable things I have acquired over the past 61 years. Items which, as I've been told by my children, will be simply thrown in the trash upon my death. Analog photography gear, worth hundreds and thousands of dollars in today's market. Certain collectable items that are increasing in value with each passing day. Memorabilia from a life no ones cares to know about.

The only reason anyone wants me around is to get things from me.. to benefit from my generosity and take advatage of my kindness.

Oh yeah, my young girlfriend likes to say "I love you", but hasn't a clue as to what "love" really is. How could she? She's never experienced real love in her life.. ever.

I was fortunate to have experienced two long term (over 10 or 15 years) relationships that were actual, true, deep loving ones. Silly me, to think I might have found a third. Real love involves wanting to physically be with your person as much as you possbliy can. It means that you communicate without fail.. even over-communicate in an effort to avoid misunderstandings. That when you make plans, or promises, you follow through with them. At the absolute least, truly loving someone means that you care how the other is feeling.. about everything, and do everything in your power to support them and help them in their struggle.

Why do humans always make things harder than they have to be? Because the vast majority of humans have never known what really, truly loving another human feels like, nor have they ever known how love works. Most know only about how love fails.

So yeah, thanks. Thanks alot.